16/PAIN SO SUBPAR

I thought I hated you with a passion
The kind that common sense isn’t a visitor to
In all its burning self-centred agony
Rage never really thought before it flew

But now in the withdrawal of it all
You stop painting black and white
The realisation a traitor to your self
Your head hurting from all the spite

You want to hurt and cry and scream
Vengeance isn’t an emotion; it’s a plot
But the tide turns and it drenches your soul
Pulling us back into that perfect slot

Why can’t I die on a hill
Before the wind carries me away
Why can’t I hold a grudge
My heart never lets it stay
I can’t always forget pain
That left so many scars
I don’t want them to heal
A pain so subpar

You act innocent, all surprised
When my eyes are shades of blood-shot red
You don’t get to escape my wrath
Before my thunder shakes your head

Don’t think I’ve forgotten your lies
Your empty promises, your nonchalance
Resentment is a sticky thing
I’ll love you for only one tiny chance

And then after the lingering perdition
My tempest shall leave your shores
My eyes will regain their loving richness
But my pain will wander ever, for

If only I could die on a hill
Before the wind carries me away
Why can’t I hold a grudge
My heart never lets it stay
I can’t always forget pain
That left so many scars
I don’t want them to heal
A pain so subpar